Volume One
Two Playing Blues Guitar
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This is about Suzy and her dad, who everybody called Pops, and it’s about Shirley’s dog, or I should say dogs, because it’s four of them she was lobbying for. Pops was married twice. First time, to Suzy’s mom Mabel, who up and left one night, in the middle of a storm, and drove off in her boyfriend Bruiser’s car, after giving Suzy a quick kiss while Suzy was in her bed, half asleep, rubbing her eyes, wondering what Mom was up to, and why that big man was standing in the doorway of her bedroom. Later, Pops married Shirley, and they had a baby girl, who at this time was getting ready to go into kindergarten. This little girl, Tulip, always had a smile, as innocent as can be, yet somehow, whatever she put her hand to, she wound up screwing it up. Like she was a demon in angel’s guise. Her mom, Shirley, Pops’ second wife, was a nudist fanatic. She had the pinkest, most vibrant and glowing and enticing flesh you ever laid eyes on. I cant even think about her standing there butt naked, in the middle of the living room, without embarrassing myself. Suzy walked into the kitchen while her dad, Pops, was sitting at the table, and Suzy had one thing on her mind. Love. She was trying to make a decision about Love, and she wanted to talk to Pops about it. Pops was an approachable kind of guy. Suzy liked talking to him, even though this was a difficult subject. Pops was sitting at the table messing with a gizmo. That was Pops’ hobby, when he wasnt working. He liked to mess with gizmos. A Mister Fix-it kind of dude. She started the conversation by saying, ‘Did you love Mom?’ ‘Of course I love Mom,’ said Pops, ‘We’ve been together now for ten years, and though we have tough times sometimes, still I’d say we’re doing okay.’ ‘I dont mean Shirley, for goodness sakes,’ said Suzy, ‘I mean Mom. My mom. Mabel. Who up and left one stormy night. You know what I’m talking about.’ ‘Oh, Mabel,’ said Pops, ‘What makes you ask about her?’ ‘You mean aside from the fact that she’s my mother?,’ said Suzy.
‘Well,’ said Pops, and Suzy knew without even thinking about it that he was in deep evasion mode, ‘We have all those pictures out there. On the table, with the light, next to my easy chair. And we have those other pictures on the piano…’ ‘Forget the pictures, Pops,’ said Suzy, ‘I look at those pictures and I feel like that Blade Runner lady, the zombie or whatever, who they gave manufactured pictures to, when they pulled her out of the test tube.’ ‘That’s not fair,’ said Pops, and Suzy realized that the little tear she saw glistening in the corner of his eye was real, and that when he looked down quickly it was because he was trying to hide it from her. But still she couldnt stop herself. ‘Why is it that I only remember one thing about her? One thing and one thing only?,’ said Suzy, ‘You know what I’m talking about. The night she left. With Bob. When she kissed me goodbye. And I was half asleep.’ ‘His name wasnt Bob,’ said Pops, ‘It was Bruiser, or Bugger, or Bigger…’ ‘It was Bruiser,’ said Suzy. ‘Yeah, right,’ said Pops. ‘He was standing in the doorway,’ said Suzy, ‘While Mom leaned over me, and shook me awake, and then gave me that kiss. That’s all that I remember of Mom. And how she smelled. And the coat she was wearing, and the hat, and the necklace she had on, which I could see because my bedroom door was open, even though Bruiser was blocking a lot of the light.’ ‘He did have a way of doing that,’ said Pops. Then he put down his gizmo, and he said, ‘Look, I’m sorry about the dog thing. Shirley doesnt mean anything by it. We’re not getting any dogs, believe me.’ ‘Forget the dogs, Pops,’ said Suzy, ‘I’m just trying to figure out if I love Johnny, and everytime I try to figure it out, all I come up with is that picture of Mom leaning over me, with that big guy in the doorway, wearing one of those Bogart hats.’
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‘Yeah, he always did wear those kind of hats,’ said Pops, ‘I swear he had a way of rigging the lighting so you saw black and white shadows, like those movies…’ ‘Noir,’ said Suzy. ‘I beg your pardon?,’ said Pops. ‘They call it noir,’ she said, ‘Film noir.’ ‘I dont recognize the term,’ said Pops. ‘It doesnt matter,’ Suzy said. ‘I dont know why she left with him,’ said Pops, ‘I thought everything was fine. And then one night…’ ‘All right, take it easy, Pops,’ said Suzy, ‘I’m not trying to break you up here. I’m just trying to understand a few things.’ ‘I know, baby, I know,’ said Pops, ‘You’re a good girl. You have a good heart. You always have. But you’re as crazy as a bed bug. I guess you know that.’ ‘I guess I do,’ Suzy said, ‘So what do you think of this Johnny thing?’ ‘Who the heck is Johnny?,’ said Pops. ‘That’s the boy who got me like this!,’ said Suzy. ‘Like what?,’ said Pops. ‘Like this! What do you think we’re talking about here?’ ‘I thought we were talking about your Mom,’ said Pops, ‘Not Shirley, but Mabel.’ ‘Shirley’s nothing to me,’ said Suzy, ‘She’s your wife. You cant stick a label on her, call her my step mom, and expect me to have feelings on the subject. And let me tell you something else. You can tell her to take those ideas she has about dogs, and stick ‘em up her…’ ‘Okay, stop right there,’ said Pops, ‘We dont need to be going down this road. I already told you we’re not getting those four hounds of the baskervilles in this place.’ ‘What’s her thing with dogs, anyway?,’ said Suzy, ‘She knows I swell up like a melon at even the mention of them.’ ‘Well,’ said Pops, smiling, ‘It’s not like you’re not already pretty swelled up.’ ‘I dont mean my belly!,’ said Suzy, ‘I mean my hands, my feet. Although, come to think of it… ‘
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‘Okay, so this boy, so this Johnny,’ said Pops, ‘What is it you want to talk about, concerning him?’ ‘I’m trying to figure out if I love him,’ Suzy said, ‘That’s all. So I thought I’d get your thoughts on the subject. On the subject of love. But then this whole Mom thing got in the way.’ ‘It didnt get in the way,’ said Pops, ‘You’re a hundred percent right for bringing it up. Sure, I loved your Mom. And you know what else? I still love her. Though that shouldnt be repeated in Shirley’s presence, naturally.’ ‘But what is it?,’ said Suzy. ‘What is what?,’ said Pops. ‘What’s the price of tomatoes? In Peoria,’ said Suzy. ‘Tomatoes? Honey, are you feeling all right?’ ‘What are we talking about here?’ ‘I thought we were talking about Johnny,’ said Pops. ‘We’re talking about love,’ said Suzy, ‘And I’m trying to figure out if I love Johnny. And fyi, Johnny’s the boy who got me pregnant. Although, that isnt exactly the right way to express it.’ ‘What do you mean by that?,’ said Pops. ‘Well, you could almost say that I got him pregnant,’ said Suzy. ‘I dont follow you,’ said Pops. ‘It’s just that it was all my idea, and I made it all happen, and I cant attach any blame to that boy.’ ‘That’s fair enough,’ said Pops, ‘But why are you all hung up on this do-you-love-him thing?’ ‘Do you think it’s fair to say I’m hung up on it?,’ she said. ‘Yeah, I think it’s fair to say it that way,’ he said. Then Pops said, ‘If it’s answers you’re looking for, baby, then I gotta say you’re just whistling up a… what do you call those things?’ ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ she said. ‘You know, those pipes where the water comes down, off the roof?’ ‘I know what you mean,’ she said, ‘Downspout, or something like that. So that’s the best you can tell me?’ ‘You’re on your own, baby,’ said Pops, ‘To tell you the truth, I’m more interested in the baby than I am in Johnny.’ And Pops went back to his gizmo. Not because he was trying to shut her out. He was just trying to figure out why it was broken.
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