1. Suzy Has A Disagreement With Her Pops

dont leave if you cant handle the exit strategy

Once there was a nasty old King who ruled Philadelphia. They called him the Philly King but he liked to call himself TVBB which meant The Very Baddest Beast. He wasnt really that old. And he used to be nice. But he had this bad experience with his now ex-wife, and he completely overreacted to that bad experience and as a result he became the Beast we know today. Philly became a very unhappy place because of the Philly King. The mothers and fathers were all in a frenzy. They were trying to escape with their daughters but there was no way out.

The Four Portals had locked the City down. If you wanted to get in or out of the City you had to go through one of the Portals, and that wasnt easy to do. To go through a Portal was sort of like getting beamed up or down in Star Trek, in other words, you got turned into all your constituent atoms and then you got reassembled elsewhere, which was the place you were trying to beam to. It all works out fine in the movies, more or less, because they dont go into details about what it really feels like. But if you were unlucky enough to be living in Philly when it got virtualized, and then you made the attempt to go out through a Portal and go through all that breaking down into atoms and building up again thing…

then you’d know, first hand, just what a terrible experience it really was. So you’d probably choose to just stay right inside Virtualized Philly. And if you were a mother or father who had a daughter when the Philly King was doing what he did, then you’d be in a very bad situation. And your only real hope might be Suzy Chu.

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dont go breaking my heart

‘Okay Pops’ says Suzy Chu ‘You need to get me in there with the old King. I need to marry him. Tonight. Once I’m married to him, I have a plan to make him stop doing what’s he doing. That’s the first thing. And the second thing is, I then intend to destroy that havoc-wreaking, young-girl-devouring monster!’ ‘You must be out of your mind’ says Pops ‘Here I am doing everything in my power to save you and your sister from marrying the Bad Beast, and you’re telling me that you want to just go right ahead and marry him of your own free will and that this is part of some plan whereby you, a pretty little fifteen or sixteen year old girl -I forget which-

Is gonna destroy the worst and the nastiest and the most rightfully called Baddest Beast which this Virtualized City has ever seen? This is what you’re saying to me? Well I’m saying forget it. And let’s move on to the next topic of discussion.’ But Suzy says, ‘Pops. You’re forgetting one thing.’ ‘What’s that?’ ‘I’m definitely marrying him. And I’m definitely marrying him tonight. Now you can help me, or you can not. And truthfully, I really need your help. But either way, I intend to do what I intend to do.’

‘Suzy, how can you talk this way to me?’ says Pops ‘Havent I cared for you ever since the day you were born? When your mother died giving birth to your little sister Danny, didnt I swear to her -swear to her, even as her last breath was leaving her lips!- that I would care for the two of you and always do the right thing by you? And isnt that what I’ve done? Now how can you stand there and tell me, straight up, that youre gonna do what youre gonna do, regardless of what I say?’

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you broke it anyway

‘Listen Pops’ says Suzy Chu ‘I’m not trying to disrespect you. I know you’ve spent all these years raising me and my kid sister Danny Girl, and you know I appreciate it. But I’m tired of this nasty old King. For three years now he’s been playing his game. One thousand nights, to be precise. At noon time you bring him the girl. By dinner time, he’s marrying the girl. By night time, he’s sleeping with the girl. And by morning time, he’s cutting the head off the girl. And his reason is? Because he once had a Queen, and he caught the Queen in a three way with the butler and the cook, or whoever.

Which is sad, and not how it’s supposed to be. But this man is taking his response way way over the top. And I cant stand it any more. And I’m gonna put a stop to it. But I need you to bring me to him, and have him marry me. And then I’ll put my plan into action.’ ‘So what’s this plan you’re talking about?’ says Pops. ‘That I cant tell you’ says Suzy Chu ‘I have my reasons why I cant tell you. The chief one being, that if I told you my plan, you’d say it was crazy and you would never ever agree to it. So I wont tell you my plan. But I will say that it is in fact crazy. Nevertheless, I believe it will succeed.’

‘You’re breaking my heart, girl’ says Pops ‘I have the worst job in this City, which is to bring the King, night after night, one beautiful young girl after another. Until we’re at the point where we are right now, which is that we’re just about out of beautiful young girls to bring to him. And now here you are with a plan you cant even tell me about. This reminds me of the story of Old Fred, or, as he was called in his youth, Young Fred.’ ‘Go ahead, I’m listening’ says Suzy.

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